My Love Story

September 10, 2024 marks five years since I walked into Panera and saw my HOT HUSBAND. I thought I would share some of my life story with the intent to inspire, motivate, and teach that life can knock you down to the bathroom floor—but you can heal, and you can build your BEST LIFE EVER!

I do have the BEST MARRIAGE EVER—100% true—but I built this marriage!

I was married to Kayleigh’s dad, who is a good man. I cheated. I blew that up because of postpartum depression and the desperate need to feel alive. I fell madly in love with the most alive narcissist. I was cheated on. I lost all of my material life when karma came around. I hated men for a few years. I dated a little. I loved a few times. I had some unhealthy relationships. And, of course, I sabotaged myself a few times.

Then I had to LEARN and DO THE WORK to truly see, feel, and value what a man can provide.

Even after Trey and I started dating, moved in together, and got married, old wounds resurfaced. I sabotaged myself a few more times. I felt unworthy. I wanted to run. But I had coaches and the best friends who helped me do the emotional work to stay on course—happily, gushy, crazy in love, and married forever.

My second favorite book OF ALL TIME was given to me by my counselor: The 5 Love Languages. It teaches that people feel love in different ways. You can love someone all day, but if it's not in their love language, they may not actually feel that love. You should spend your time, energy, and money on their love language—so they feel the love you're trying to give.

I truly try to love Trey using his love languages, which are: words, touch, eventually acts of service, and quality time. He doesn't really care about gifts. We base our conversations around questions like: “Would this feel like love to you?” or “This would be love to me if…” We communicate, and we're honest about what IS love and what IS NOT love.

My favorite book about being a GIRL POWER, money-making, super successful woman who “doesn’t need a man” but still values men is Allison Armstrong’s The Queen’s Code. This book teaches women how to appreciate a man—and, more importantly, how to stop tearing them down. It features both a story and homework exercises.

Today, everyone knows my love story with Trey. He meets ALL my needs, and he says, “You bring out the BEST Trey.”

How We Met

In 2019, I put my profile on Match.com so I could start dating and “get a life.” I made a list of what I wanted, what I didn’t want, my deal-breakers, wrote a profile, uploaded some photos, and went online.

On a Friday night, I came across a profile and was instantly intrigued. His first photo was from a jiu-jitsu match, the second was him at a podium in business clothes, and the third was him on a beach with a paddleboard. His profile text was a perfect match for my list. I messaged him to check out my profile—and the rest is my fairy tale ending.

Journal Excerpts

September 10, 2019

Our first date was a Tuesday at 9:30 AM for coffee at Panera. Who does coffee on a Tuesday? Anyway, we talked for an hour before he had to head back to work. We discussed his love languages: touch, words, and (lastly) time. His top needs are certainty, love/connection, and growth.

September 20, 2019

Friday was our second date in St. Augustine. I took an Uber to his house—it was gorgeous and spotless! His car was also clean. He drove us to our first stop: San Sebastián Winery. We had wine and saw the most romantic double rainbow in the sky. Then we went to The Floridian. We sat at a bar table, were asked to move, and were then reseated in the same spot. Divine order!

After dinner, we walked to play pool. He drove me home, and even though it was late, I didn’t want the night to end. I touched him all night. He looked super cute in his hip jeans and cool Chucks!

September 22, 2019

Sunday, he picked me up at 6:10 AM for sunrise in St. Augustine. I could feel myself fast-forward and stop time all at once. We walked and talked about everything. He kissed me. I loved hugging him. We had breakfast at First Watch, then went to my house to talk for hours until he left for yoga.

After he left, I texted: “How do I say thank you for such an amazing, perfect Sunday?”

Masculine & Feminine Energy Exercise

I study Allison Armstrong, who teaches about masculine and feminine energy. She has this assignment for women:

1. Notice what men are already giving you or taking care of.
2. What did it provide for you?
3. How did it make you feel?

So thank you for providing the most beautiful Sunday. I felt happy, gushy, turned on, connected, spoiled, attracted, vulnerable, motivated, interested, content, and beautiful. Most importantly—I didn’t want it to end. And most surprisingly—I could feel my body stop when you held me. That made me feel mind-blown by your ability to provide such safety for my soul.

You’re a badass, in case you didn’t know. And I’m so grateful for our time together.

KK