I understand the “why” of my life

 

Dr. Joe Dispenza says, “One day you wake up and realize that it all makes sense, and you would not change a thing - today is that day for me - Dr. Joe was 100% right!

 

I believe that before we come to earth that we have a conversation with God.  We make a plan for our life on what we want to learn, experience, and then we come to earth school.

 

I believe that I told God - I got this, give me the me the hard life, I will figure it all out, and then I will teach what I learned.

 

Give it to me God - If anyone can do it - I can- I am going to be Kristine Kennedy- let’s GO!

 

God said,  “ok little girl - here we go.”

 

I am going to give you the Kennedy rage bloodline which is from the dark side in your dad to heal the blood rage.

 

I am going to give you my best saint in your mom to raise you and teach you how to make a difference with you life so I am giving you, Sherry Leigh “the saint” to balance with the light.

 

I am going to give you a younger brother, Ryan, who will also carry the blood rage, but he will trap the blood rage in his brain tumor.

 

I am going to give you the most amazing grandparents, Belton and Marie to fill up your spirit with all of the love in your early childhood.  They will love you with everything, and they make you feel the most unconditionally loved in this lifetime which you are going to need to get you through the rest of what is to come.

 

I am going to give you lots of girl power best friends along the way to lead and guide you.  I am going to give you Arlene for your teen age years, Chrissie for your 20’s, Juley and Elysia for your 30’s and 40’s. 

 

I am going to give you a king, Clint, to show you peace, love, and fun!  You will have a beautiful life.  You will probably blow that life up, but you will learn a lot along the journey.

 

You and Clint will raise Kayleigh, and she will be “your savior” in the lifetime. 

 

Then if you do all of the work, I will give you the kings of all kings, Trey, as a divine union of light to take you fully into your destiny. 

 

Go little girl - go to earth and learn how to make a difference.

 

Today - I get it all - I understand the “why” of my life!

 

My story is like so many others full of trauma.  My grandfather was Raymond Kennedy.

 

He was 12 in 1935 when his family was driving home from church when a drunk driver hit their car.  His dad died instantly, and his mom, Edna, was put in a coma for 3 weeks.  There were two twin girls.  His one sister, Doris, died instantly, and he carried the other sister, Joan, who was only 3 years old for a few miles until he found help.

 

I believe that in that moment, he hated God and a blood rage was created, he was a very mean man and he was very mean to his 4 boys which included my dad.

 

My dad had a rough childhood full of physical and verbal abuse.  He didn’t grow up with affection so he didnt know how to show affection.  I think that life took over, and life knocks you down sometimes. He had a son who was born with an inoperable brain tumor, and all of the family’s focus went into survival mode. 

 

My mom has many stories of my dad yelling at her before I was born.  He did better than his dad with me, but he was very mean to my brother.  He would scream, “GD get your head out of your as*, you are good for nothing, all you do it eat, shiz, and sleep, GD this and GD that!”  The house was always loud with screaming, and although he didn’t yell at me directly, I would just walk around trying to be “a good little girl.”

 

I don’t know that he ever gave me a compliment.  That is probably why words are my thing, and I move toward them.  I am just the little girl waiting on my dad to give me the words of love that I always wanted to hear.

 

I understand!

 

I understand how to feel unconditional love from a grandparent.

I understand how to be loved by all of the love languages.

I understand how to have all of my needs met.

I understand parents moving a child and the child having zero say.

I understand feeling ripped away from my grandparents.

I understand watching their body and brain slowly disapate.

I understand how to bury them.

I understand how to bury a piece of your heart with them.

 

I understand how to feel terrorized by a grandfather with blood rage.

I understand feeling hatred toward a grandparent.

I understand not caring to go to a grandfather’s funeral.

I understand how to forgive a grandparent because it was all part of the plan.

 

I understand having a brother being diagnosed with a brain tumor. 

I understand the family’s attention went to survival and him.

I understand feeling afraid of a sibling that has blood rage in him.

I understand feeling pure terror.

I understand feeling traumatized.

I understand feeling jealousy of a sibling.

I understand the hatred that comes along with all of it. 

I understand how to heal the hatred.

I understand how to heal the blood rage.

I understand how to forgive a sibling because it was all part of the plan.

 

I understand how to hit.

I understand how to fight.

I understand how to cut.

I understand how to shoot.

I understand how to protect myself.

I understand how to win.

 

I understand staring at the ceiling and not sleeping.

I understand watching every minute on the clock tick until your alarm goes off.

I understand insomnia.

I understand becoming addicted to sleeping pills.

I understand how to heal and come off of sleeping pills.

I understand how to sleep thought the night. 

 

I understand being different as a child.

I understand not feeling seen by a parent.

I understand not feeling loved by a parent.

I understand feeling “just be good” and “it will all be ok.”

 

I understand building myself because I had to.

I understand having parents who also had to build themselves. 

I understand that parents are doing the best that they can with what they were given.

I understand having parents who did better than their parents.

I understand realizing that I could not have done any better with the situation they were dealt.

I understand forgiveness of parents because it was all part of the plan.

 

I understand moving away and leaving your childhood behind.

I understand getting your first job.

I understand how to love love love what you do for work.

I understand how to make a lot of money when you do what you love.

 

I understand how to fall in love instantly with just a look.

I understand the dream of getting married for forever.

I understand building a house and then a home.

I understand how to feel loved and provided for.

I understand a king wanting to give his family everything they can dream.

 

I understand wanting a child.

I understand building a family.

I understand the unconditional love that you feel for your baby girl.

 

I understand postpardum depression.

I understand feeling dead inside.

I understand feeling like “God…is this really it?”

I understand hormones.

I understand how to balance them so you feel better.

 

I understand making $30,000 one year and then making $130,000 the next year.

I understand an ego burst.

I understand feeling that nothing is good enough.

I understand feeling that if you leave the situation that the pain will stop.

I understand losing a king.

I understand losing the father of your only child.

I understand feeling the guilt of your actions.

I understand feeling regret that you broke up your family.

I understand wishing you had healed somehow and kept your family together.

I understand trying to heal your child of the wounds you caused.

I understand feeling hated by your ex.

I understand being forgiven by your ex.

I understand being grateful when he found his destined love.

I understand the joy you feel when a bonus mom loves your child like she is hers.

 

I understand how to fall “in lust” with just a look.

I understand feeling alive again.

I understand how to lie.

I understand how to cheat.

I understand how to do bad things.

I understand not asking for child support because you don’t feel worthy to ask.

I understand how to raise a child financially by yourself. 

 

I understand karma and how it hurts when everything that you did is done to you. 

I understand having to walk away from lust when he gets a stripper pregnant.

I understand feeling not good enough.

I understand wanting to commit suicide for the pain to stop. 

I understand the love you feel for your child pulling you through your pain.

 

I understand a short sale.

I understand a bankruptcy.

I understand a foreclosure.

I understand how it feels to have your electric turned off.

I understand how it feels to lose everything that you built and having nothing to show for it but pictures that you don’t want to look at.

 

I understand having a big group of friends.

I understand losing friends.

I understand thinking people were your friends.

I understand feeling that I didn’t need any friends.

I understand losing a best friend.

I understand wanting desperately for someone to like you as a friend.

I understand wanting a friend to see the real you.

I understand jealousy ruining a friendship.

I understand feeling utterly alone.

 

I understand walking into a business meeting and getting fired.

I understand losing all the commissions on my loans that I had in my pipeline.

I understand losing all the commissions on my new contracts.

I understand not being able to originate any new loans until I could find a place to hang my mortgage license.

I understand being slapped with a non-compete for 1 year.  

I understand losing all of my content.

I understand a company taking my website which was 100% my content.

I understand a company taking my email signatures that I created.

I understand losing my database.

I understand losing anything else that would help me rebuild my business.

 

I understand how to rebuild yourself.

I understand how hard it is to build a child.

I understand how hard to build a child while you are building your kingdom.

 

I understand how to heal the wounds of life.

I understand how to heal the wounds of love.

I understand how to love someone with the 5 love languages.

I understand how to write a target list to God.

I understand how it feels to desperately wanting a man to see you.

I understand sabotage.

I understand how to walk away when it is not right.

I understand how to move through each wound as it comes up to heal it.

 

I understand how to feel attracted just by looking at a dating profile.

I understand knowing instantly that “this is it Jesus!”

I understand feeling immediately attracted.

I understand feeling respect.

I understand feeling safe.

I understand feeling seen.

I understand feeling supported.

I understand feeling loved.

I understand feeling a destined love.

 

I understand how to dream.

I understand how to build a vision.

I understand how your thoughts turn into things.

I understand how words are your wand.

I understand how actions change the course of destiny.

I understand how to be grateful and thankful.

I understand how to contribute to others.

I understand how to make a difference in someone’s life.

I understand how to draw a destiny. 

 I understand money.

I understand how to make money.

I understand how to save money.

I understand how to give money away.

I understand how to invest money.

I understand how to become a millionaire.

 

I understand astrology. 

I understand numerology.

I understand quantum physics. 

I understand quantum entanglement.

I understand our body’s electromagnetic bio field.

I understand energy healing.

I understand frequency.

I understand  harmonics. 

I understand radionics.

 

I understand the “why” you should do yoga.

I understand the chakras.

I understand meridians.

I understand mirror work.

I understand breathe work.

I understand moving the wounds of life that are stuck in your body.

 

I understand all of it!

I know how to make it work for me and the people I love!

 

I understand God!

 

My life was my “real life university” with lots of courses to learn, tests to take, and now is the time to use what I have learned to teach God’s children.

 

I understand that I am here to be a witness to consciousness and then raise consciousness by being consciousness.  

 

I am the living example of what a human can BE, DO, HAVE, and HEAL!

 

I understand

 

The human spirit is powerful beyond measure!  I do believe that “I can do all things!”

 

Thank you to my mom!

She is truly a saint, and the epitome of a “living example of how to make a difference with your life!”

She raised me to be the light I am today.

She also raised Ryan who started out as “dark,” and she brought him to be the “light” that he is today. 

 

Thank you to Kayleigh!

She is my savior, and my love for her pulled me through all of the pain to get to the pleasure of life.  

She beats to her own drum, and she makes me smile just to think about her.

 

Thank you to Trey!

He is the epitome of a “living example of peace!”